Deep in My Feelings...

  God, I feel afraid of so many things. I'm afraid to experience physical pain at this appointment, I'm afraid of not being able to give a proper urine sample due to nerves, and I'm afraid that I will receive bad news. The latter is my biggest fear. Perhaps the pap smear, blood draw, and painful ultrasound would be worth it if there's a healthy baby inside. If not, all I will feel is shame and embarrassment and dread.  Lord, I don't know what to do with my fear, except constantly give it to you. Honestly, I feel like I can pray and pray, but in the morning, my body will feel the fear and anxiety and it will feel like more than I can take. How do I deal with this, God? What can I do to calm my body and mind? How do I keep these nerves at bay? I can try breathing deep, taking certain vitamins, but it seems nothing will work. What I really hope and pray for is a supernatural peace, that surpasses what I can comprehend, to take over me, both mentally and physically. I f...