For the Guys

 That stirring feeling you get as you’re walking towards a group of guys makes you quickly grab your phone, pretending to be deep in conversation because you’re expecting to hear “Nice ass” or “Smile, beautiful” as you walk by in your jeans and sweatshirt. The humiliation of knowing that after you walk past the man who tries to talk to you, his gaze follows you as you walk away and you know exactly what he’s looking at. There’s this kind of fear in knowing that at any moment, some guy who gives you the creeps can say or do whatever he wants to you and you can simply…take it. There’s no confidence that you can fight him, outrun him, or tell him off because you’d be unsuccessful. These are all feelings a man will never feel and never completely understand.

How many times have you, man reading this, walked past a group of guys waiting to hear vulgar sexual comments about your body, no matter what you’re wearing? Have you felt a man’s eyes on your breasts or butt, even if you’re covered from head to toe? To be extreme, have you ever seen a man touching himself while watching you, a complete stranger? How often do you get asked “Where’s your smile?” or “I see that booty” or something along the lines of “She got that fatty white ass that I like”? If you’ve experienced any of this, you must be a woman after all.

Am I saying a man cannot understand what it means to be afraid or victimized? A man may experience that several times, but does the sinking feeling hit him that if he’s touched or assaulted, he couldn’t fight back? Has he ever feared being raped by someone much stronger than him? Is he afraid to wear anything remotely appealing or feminine because he would rather not hear the disgusting comments? Of course, I’m aware that men do get raped and women can be rapists. That’s the cold truth. However, if you have a group of 20 women and another group of 20 men, how many of the women would admit they’ve been raped, sexually assaulted, sexually harassment, or verbally harassed verses the men?

A man simply CANNOT know that moment of panic when you realize you’re being followed by a horny man and all you can do is feel the fear and try to run. Let me ask you, men, how many times in your life have you had sexual comments thrown your way? I’m sure some of you have experienced that a few times. Guess what? Every woman couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times she’s been treated like a sexual object! She can’t reflect on all her years and come up with a specific number for you; she can’t even keep up. She couldn’t even count of all the hands of all the creeps that made her feel like she was nothing but something to be touched and used.

This isn’t about feminism or the opposite; this is about what all women feel almost every day of their life. While sometimes it’s flattering to be called beautiful, when an old man is telling you what he wants to do to you, nothing about that makes you feel good about yourself.