I saw little Miranda and those chubby cheeks and perfect bow had me feeling all kinds of sad and happy at the same time. While I loved seeing my brand new niece in all her newborn attire, a part of me felt depressed and betrayed...again. I am not angry with God anymore, like I was for a little bit at first. I am, however, ready to try again and have a baby. So I sit and wait. I don't want to wait, but I have to. The miscarriage was in May and it's now September and I'm ready. I'm ready to hear those little cries and take my little one to the park and hold her tight. I'm ready, but is God going to give me this?
Am I anyone's friend really? Sometimes I think I'm close with someone, but then I may see a flicker of annoyance in their face when I act like my goofy self. I feel like I talk too much; well, I don't just feel it, I know it. Why do I have this uncontrollable trait of speaking without a filter or restriction? Maybe it's because I was ignored during my childhood. No one noticed me because I was shy and wasn't "cute" like my sister. So sometimes I feel like people tire of me easily. Is that just me? It's the same at work. Everyone loves this new guy Eryn, pompous as he is. They laugh at his jokes (if you can even call them jokes) and rave at his ideas. Admittedly, he does have great ideas. Still, why do I feel like my boss wants nothing to do with me? Why is he okay with Eryn working from home, but tells me I'm not allowed to? Why does he never ask about me? He forgot my birthday and even worse, when he finally remembered, there was no card or anyth...
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