Deep in My Feelings...

 "You can try again" is anything but hopeful when your dearly beloved has died "This is so common" is even worse after all the pain and crying No, I don't want a hug, a pity expression, or the sad sound of "Awww...." I just want to sit here crying and thinking about what I saw I saw a life...gone...never coming back again  I saw a life...lost...pain with me to the end I cried walking out the door, then more, then on the entire bathroom floor Cause I saw a life...gone...never coming back again My baby. "At least you weren't further along" twists the sharpest knife "The odds are in your favor" is anything but nice No, I don't want to hear my chances, the stats, the hope I just want to sit here crying, hating that I never showed I saw a life...gone...never in my world again I saw a life...lost....breaking me to every end I screamed out loud, screamed inside, screamed some more as I cried Cause I saw a life...gone...never coming...

 We were happy and a little scared, but mostly happy when we found out about you I cried and he smiled, feeling a little sappy,  but excited to meet you It was Spring, and with the sun came the sun You were that sun The streets became green and the flowers started to bud And my heart started to bud I couldn't wait to hold you, to see you, to feel you... here... Oh, those little cries, little smiles, the things that make life grand Oh, those little toes, little fingers on your tiny hand You would cry, we would smile because we know how blessed we are Now you will jump, laugh, and giggle from afar I know it's true what they all say April showers bring flowers in May  We were happy, a little scared, but mostly happy when we went to go see you I cried and he stood there, waiting we were excited to finally see you I wanted to see you, hold you, touch your sweet face... soon... Oh, those little eyes, little heart, the things that make life life Oh, those little smirks, little y...

 We were watching a show and in it was a couple who had just gone through a horrible experience. The husband had been physically impacted by a bomb and was paralyzed from the waist down. He was angry, bitter, hurt, lonely, and miserable. In his anger, he snapped at his wife, made insulting comments, and made her as miserable as he. I cried watching it. I turned to my husband, who was beside me, and said "What would you do if I lost my ability to walk?" What I was asking had to do more with his emotional response to something like that. I was thrown off when he simply said "We would move somewhere easier to get around with access to ramps and things. We would start our new life there." I smiled inwardly and outwardly and thought..."That's love."

Verse 1 It was the best day, waking up to take that test; I cried when I saw two Pink lines It was the best way to start the month of April; along with flowers came a shine I overpaid for that onesie, but why not splurge when you have the reason? I held the tiny outfit in my hands, thinking "this is the perfect start to the season..." Pre-Chorus I couldn't wait to tell my baby, my lover, my man That soon, very soon, he'd be a dad... Chorus Oh my, those tiny toes and tiny hands that I would soon touch Oh my, those little cries and little smiles; I can't get enough  The flowers bloom and so do you, my baby It must be true what they say: April showers bring flowers in May... Verse 2 It was the best day, waking up to get ready to go hear that heartbeat It was the best way to start the month of May; it would bring a baby I could see I walked in the office, both nervous and excited for the oh-so-special moment But I didn't expect to see or hear nothing and to wait; ...