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Still My Heart

 Is it selfish to ask that you save the baby? Am I untrusting if I beg for you to protect the life inside? I feel as though my prayer should be about asking for comfort and peace, no matter what the news is. Yet, in my flesh, what I want most is for this baby to be alive and healthy. Is that wrong? I can't tell, God. Correct me if I'm in the wrong here. Yes, of course I want to have the strength to trust you, even in the midst of suffering. But I want this child; I want to be able to hold this baby in my arms. I feel that if this bay dies, it is my fault. I know that isn't true, but it's how I feel.

God, you know my heart better than I do! That means you know if my desires are pure or not. If they aren't, change them! Help me see your grace and mercy, even when you take away what is precious to me. Lord, I am torn. Torn between total trust and what my heart longs for. My heart longs for this life, to raise a child, to care for a little one. But I know in my head that not all things work out happily, but all things do work together for the good of those who trust in you. I want to choose to believe that every single day.

Still my heart, God. Keep me stable, even as my feelings rise and fall. Give me the peace, comfort, and strength I need to face tomorrow with confidence and joy! Make my heart soar on wings like an eagle, even if I am in pain physically and emotionally. Supernaturally still me, whether in the moment of bad news or good. I do struggle to see the good in the bad, but with your grace, I can and will. I want to trust you now, more than ever! Still my heart, God.

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