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The Sun MIGHT Come Out Tomorrow

 Tomorrow is the big day, the day of answers, the day of either relief or distress, the day I'll find out if I'm pregnant or not. I bought the test 4 days ago because I'm NEVER late, with the exception of maybe 3-4 times in my life. Even so, it's only ever a day or two. This time is different. I am now over a week late and nothing. I did something stupid. I went to Old Navy and bought a onesie. Then I decided I didn't like that onesie because it wasn't cute. So I went to Macy's and gasped at the fact that a tiny piece of clothing could cost $30. I quickly left. 

I know I haven't taken the test yet, but I got a little carried away! My plan, if I'm actually pregnant, is to surprise my husband tomorrow with the onesie and a card, telling him the big news. I've been keeping this a secret for days because I want to be sure before I tell him. We've been wanting a baby for awhile, so this would be a dream come true,...if it's true.

Part of me is thinking "what else could it be? I'm certain I'm pregnant", while the skeptic in me is thinking "What if it's a health condition or just a weird fluke? Don't get your hopes up." I tend to get a little overly excited and then I flip out when what I hoped for doesn't happen. I have been praying for a baby for months and my heart is full of wonder, joy, and anxiety; it's not a good mix.

If the test is negative (and I bought 3 to be sure), then I have to face a very scary truth: I could have a health condition. Yes, I did the one thing you shouldn't do. I looked up everything that could cause a missed period. Now granted, some had to do with stress or weight loss (I'm not under stress and I have gained weight), but the other possibilities were dark. PCOS is not something that sounds fun; look it up and you'll know what I mean. So if stress and weight loss aren't the cause, pregnancy or PCOS are the only options that make sense. Knowing my luck, it'll be the latter.

I'm very scared and I wanted to take the test the other day, but I'm too afraid that I won't see two pink lines. Tomorrow could be the happiest day of my life or potentially the most disappointing. Not to mention, I'm not experiencing the typical pregnancy symptoms, so I don't "feel" pregnant. That's a scary thought. I will find out in the morning. Tomorrow is the day my dream may be reality. Tomorrow is the day I may find out I'm a mother. Tomorrow's forecast is rainy, but it may be sunny through and through in my heart. 

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