Best Friend Forgotten

I won't play the victim; I know I've committed my own crimes

But you don't have to sit there, idle and watching me die

I've told you my mistakes, my sins, and all my secrets

Now that I see there's nothing here, I have my regrets

I won't play the victim; I know I've hurt you before

But I came when you needed me, rushing to your door

In my human love, I forgot to just simply listen to you

Now I sit all alone, remembering what I had with you

I won't play the victim; I caused many of those fights

We argued like sisters and neither of us were right

Some friendships are worth the tears and the sweat

Some friends move on to someone else and forget

I broke down, telling you the darkest secret I had

All in hopes that we would go back to what we had

But I saw no tears or empathy in your eyes that day

And I knew our friendship would never be the same

If this is what I get for sharing, why did I at all?

I would've kept silent if I knew you'd let me fall

Here I sit, trying to climb the wall you built

Each stone is anger, sadness, nostalgia, and guilt

If I could take back all the pain and distance I caused, I might

Would it have made any difference? We would still fight

I always thought of people as snowflakes, pretty for a day

Until they melt and disappear, leaving as quickly as they came

Maybe best friends are overrated; you're never meant to have one for life

Maybe I'm meant to be alone, not a best friend, just a wife

I won't play the victim; I know I've left you for a time

But I want you to know during that time, I was anything but fine

Do you ever think about me and remember the memories we made?

Do you remember when we went to Philly and hung out for the day?

Do you ever think of these moments; does your heart hurt when you do?

Because mine does and part of me wishes yours did too 

Do you ever want things to be the way they were?

Or are you okay to move on, accepting things as they are? 

Am I relevant to you anymore? Am I just a memory to you?

If I were to disappear altogether, what would you do? 

Am I not enough because I'm not simple and fitting into your life?

I can't change who I am; I can't promise I would never bring any strife

I can't promise I won't dance in public or get awkward when I'm in a group

But I can promise I would be here for anything you ever go through

I know it's too late, the wall is up and the distance is between us

Any friendship we have now may not consist of much

You've made your peace with letting me go; I can see that

But I'll never have peace knowing we are disconnected from what we had 

I'm a friend let go, a friend on the outside looking into the life of a former sister

I'm a friend in the desert, running towards the memories until I feel the blisters 

I'm a friend lost and far away, forced to see that the good times are gone

I'm not a best friend forever or a sister for life; I'm a best friend forgotten